build your confidence

Why You Might Need to Build Your Confidence

Do you experience that you are not ‘enough’?  Or that somehow you do not have the intelligence to make great decisions or say the right thing at dinner parties or business meetings….

“If I stand up and put forward my view people will wonder what on earth am I going on about.  If I say something they will all realize that de​​​​​​​​​​​​​ep down I am the idiot that I think I am….”

Or maybe it’s not as severe as that – it’s more that you just don’t feel that you are successful .

Another good one is ....  “ It’s ok for you but you did not have the childhood I did.  I was told I was an idiot and it stuck.”

The problem is you don’t like it and you want to be special and respected and seen as a cool character.

“What I’ll do is try to look cool, or only say cool things and hoping they won’t notice that I am really an idiot.”

What’s hard is knowing that you are not enough and even when people think you are, deep down we know we are not.

So what is lack of confidence?

Why is it some people have an abundance of confidence and get great results and always seem to handle challenges so well.

Do you fear being perceived as weak, hopeless, silly, stupid, weird, dumb, gangly, uncool, shy, embarrassed and all the other versions that lack confidence?

Actually it’s ok we understand completely and we would love to help.

The actual truth is you don’t lack confidence rather you have a belief or two that limit your sense of self.  The feelings that go with this belief style are the sensations that we do not enjoy and make us avoid them at all costs.

What might you believe about yourself that limits you in any way.

Examples could be:

  • • I am not smart
    • I am not attractive
    • I am unsuccessful
    • I am stuck being me
    • My family is uneducated and I did not get the childhood that other kids got
    • I am hopeless at sport
    • I am never going to amount to anything
    • I am not enough
    • I am not as good as them
    • People do not like me
    • I am different and not acceptable

There are so many more and I am sure that you might recognise some.

These beliefs are the cause of your lack of confidence.

So what beliefs would you have if you were going to have a different and positive experience.  Maybe something like:

  • • I can learn
    • I am a unique person
    • I am clever and curious
    • Each person is different from the other
    • Comparing people is silly because we are all different
    • There are no two people alike on the planet
    • I like me
    • I accept all people for their uniqueness and difference
    • The world is wonderful and offers many experiences
    • I can change
    • I appreciate my limitations and my talents
    • All people have limitations and talents
    • I can overcome any limitation that is interrupting my dream
    • I can use my natural abilities and I can develop new skills also.
    • I love life
    • I can deal with challenges and get better at everything
    • I learn from my mistakes
    • I forgive easily and make better judgments over time 

Our beliefs provide us with the foundation of thoughts that create our view of life and who we are in it.

We all meet obstacles and when we have positive beliefs we overcome them and move on.

Let go of the fixation on the obstacles and focus on what you actually want.

Practice new beliefs that support you and stay with them until you are living them.

Here's our Check Your Thinking list to see how the factors that affect your confidence work you personally. 

Build your confidence with the resources on this page for a start. You can call us or email us if you think you need to build your confidence, develop the habits of a successful, balanced business owner or social personality.

                                           Belief Identification

Your beliefs are your foundations for building confidence. In this audio, we will help you reference strong points and how to reshape your foundations for a confidence structure that is strong and lasting. 


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