This is the third instalment of a three-part series based on the stories we tell ourselves and how they affect the results we achieve in life.
This is the fun part! Your story can be written in any genre - comedy, drama, thriller, et cetera. First of all, you should think about your future and who you want to be in your story.
Your first story was the one you sort of landed in that was written for you based on your childhood and background. It shaped you and you had to find your way to create the world you want. Now, you’re in charge of rewriting your story and your future to one where you get to be the hero, the success story, overcoming your challenges along the way.
Listen to the podcast here or continue reading below.
Learning to reframe
A useful way to begin rewriting your story is to look back at the fundamental things that happened across the time of your life story. Who were some of the characters and how have you been perceiving those events? What have you decided was true because of the events and the way you were looking at them up until now? And then begin to consider that maybe there's another way of looking at it. How could you turn each of those events so they become strengths you have developed?
An example of that might be somebody who arrived in a country as an immigrant under incredibly challenging circumstances as a result of war in their home country or a very poor childhood where their whole world was dishevelled.
In writing that, it could end up being a real tragedy, or it could be reframed as a story of a hero who found their way to another place by overcoming impossible odds and forging a new, successful world for themselves.
Every story can be reframed like that.
Finding the hero in every story
I (Rex) grew up in a strained family. My father was a soldier who had been at war for five years and became an alcoholic. As a result, he wasn’t able to show me love and I grew up believing I wasn’t good enough. By the time I got to my teens, my world told me I wasn’t lovable and I ended up on the streets.
So, rewriting that story meant that I had to look at my father as a very injured hero, who turned to drink and hid his feelings because he was in so much pain and agony from losing five of his best mates.
Now, my story is about me overcoming life’s challenges that came with going overseas on a ship and starting my own adventures. I ended up in all sorts of places like King's Cross (Sydney) on the streets and I met villains and criminals, gypsies and hippies. I ended up finding my way through that and becoming a young entrepreneur who learned how to negotiate and deal with all sorts of different cultures.
I also learned not to judge people because I realised there was good in every person, which taught me to be extremely flexible in my understanding of human beings and how to love not only them, no matter what they brought to the table, but to love myself no matter what I had been through.
It allowed me to create a world by recognising that it wasn't my fault. I was a victim of circumstance and yet it has taught me resilience, and self reliance and has given me the ability to adapt very quickly, no matter what circumstances I’m faced with. I've found that to be a very, very useful skill in life, especially in business.
Going through the motions of business
The important thing to remember when finding the hero in your own story is that heroes need obstacles to do their heroic duties. As you recognise the possibility of being your own hero, then your story should include the challenges you have overcome in order to get there. Remember the strengths that these helped you develop.
This is especially true in business, because businesses go through seasons. You have created a story about your business so far. Some of it recognises its strengths and maybe you are also focusing on the challenges instead of the power of the opportunities and solutions you are creating to move to the next level. The lovely saying, ‘You can't teach a good sailor in a calm sea’ comes to mind because a truly good sailor has been through all of the ocean's moods and survived them.
It’s a good idea to produce a mind map for your future story that explores the strategies you need to put in place to allow your business, your team and yourself to grow from these challenges. Include the amazing things you have overcome and strategies that became strengths along the way.
Start to map that out in your mind and notice how you would be thinking on a day to day basis to be implementing that way of thinking, that way of feeling and believing, and decision making to reach a greater level of mastery and success.
As soon as you envisage a successful future and business and family, or whatever it is you choose to have in your life, you start to create a story. And as you envisage having come through the trials and tribulations of life, you’ll be the kind of person who’s prepared to travel on a new adventure. Some of it’s known and some of it’s unknown, but all good adventures require the unknown.
Take authority of your life and map it out so you get the degree of success and outcomes and enjoyment that you choose. You are the author of your script; each thought that you have and each emotion that you choose to feel, whether consciously or unconsciously, is you rewriting your story. The more you take control over that, the more likely and more easily your story will unfold towards the outcomes you actually want. The unconscious links back to the way we are thinking about our selves, our life and our business journey and breaking old habits of thought create a new potential. Look for the useful lessons that helped you create the good and overcome the challenges and focus on the strengths you have developed to move forward. Maybe consider an Adventure Genre or whatever works for you..
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You are the author of your script; each thought that you have and each emotion that you choose to feel, whether consciously or unconsciously, is you rewriting your story. Become aware of them first. #MindMatters #Business #SelfHelp